Sunday, 26 May 2013

Sister love.. mother love..

I have a special sister. She's been diagnosed with Aattention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). When she was about 4 year old, she was jumping on my mother's bed when she fell. She hit her head on a corner of a table. There was an internal bleeding inside her head. She was hospitalized and put in a coma for 2 days. Allah.. that was really heartbreaking. I forgot how long she was in ICU. Things were never the same again since.

Having a disabled sister or OKU (Orang Kurang Upaya), is really challenging. She needs constant monitoring. Plus she is actually really brilliant. She can let herself out of the house no matter how my mother locks the door or the front gate. She watches the door for any moments of carelessness. And then she will run and run and run as fast as she can. Sometimes she goes to the playground. A couple of times she went and sit on a divider by the roadside. A few times she manages to get to the shops nearby.

There was a time, my sister, who stays in KL, called home and said that our disabled sister is already at the shop. As it happens, a friend of hers who was nearby gave her a call. And we didn't even realized she was gone yet! Mind you, the shop is actually about 8 minutes walking distance. My mom probably just turns her head around, tending to cooking or stuff. Everytime this kind of thing happens my mother will get into panic mode and will start shouting and run out to get her! It's just crazy. She still does this sometimes now, though she's not as fast as she used to, now that she more than 110kg. She is definitely overweight (because of all the medication that she has to take) but she's still very fast.!

I used to think she's a nuisance. I couldn't play outside because I of her. I couldn't play with my relatives during 'kenduri' (family feasts) because I had to look after her, so that my mom can help out. My mom is always on the run, chasing her. She was also pretty violent, she used to bite and hit people. I was annoyed frequently. You know, being a regular kid or teenager, your normal sister annoys you. This is a disabled sister. How annoying can she be? Argghhhh!!! That's how.

But once I had my own daughter, things seems... different. I look at my sister and my mom in a new light. I see her through my mother's eyes. I look past my own emotions of annoyance and irritation, and see her as my own daughter. O Allah, how does my mother feels that night we slept outside the ICU corridor? Does mom cry every time my sister had seizure? Does her heart breaks when sis was poked with all sorts of needles and tubes? When the doctor said she is not the same as the other kids? When she realized sis will never be able to take care of herself? My heart breaks.

Now she is 21 years old and I think mentally she is about three or four years old. My nieces and nephews and my kids, they will grow up, Insha Allah, but my sister most probably won't (mentally). She stays at home  with my mom because she constantly has seizure. My mom and dad wants to send her to some kind of rehabilitation center for disable people, but they are unable to because of the seizures.

I pray to Allah that sis will be placed in His highest heaven. She has been through so much pain and sadness. And my parents too, for being patient with her all these years. Forgive all our sins, O Allah.
May Allah grant my prayers. Ameen.

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