Tuesday, 10 January 2012

It's Hard for Me to Say I'm Sorry

Little kids are the most forgiving lot. They fight today, and tomorrow, business as usual. By business I mean play, of course. Scold them for breaking the window, they cry themselves to sleep, wake up and ask for dinner. Previous shouting forgotten. Was it because they didn't remember? Or because there are too many things to do (play)? Anyhow, most kids really don't have too much time to keep an argument for long.

The duration for forgiveness lengthen as we grow. The older we are, the harder it takes for us to forgive. Ego? Perhaps. Or the baggage that we carry makes us view things differently. Makes things hurt deeply than they should. Our sensitivity gets more acute. And wounds gets harder to heal. 

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It is quite common to hear adults and old people argue and disagree for days, weeks, years even. Each refuse to apologize. Why is it so hard to say I'm sorry. Pride gets in the way, always. Scared it'll make us look weak. Why should I say sorry, I'm not the guilty one here, he is. 

Hatred creates a strong invisible attachment to the person. More than you realize. Sometimes more than the person you love. You don't ever want to see his face, hear his voice. Always glad (if not wishing) to hear bad news about him. You go out of your way NOT to see or hear him. So you actually making an effort. Of course, everything that relates to that hated person by default also hated. That shirt, this colour, her children, this smell. See how attached you are? Hating is tiring. It drains your energy. 

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Hatred makes you bitter. Forgiving gives you freedom. You are FREE!! Your heart is does not ache anymore. It's a million times lighter than before. You may even get your friend/love back! Try it. It's worth a try. No ego will be bruised. And you'll feel younger! Like a little kid.

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There is a story about two kids that were fighting, Hasan and Husin. As a result, they refuse to talk to each other. Then the Prophet pbuh went to see one of them, saying that Allah swt promise him a palace in the heaven if he forgive the other. Then the Prophet went to see the other boy and told him the same promise from Allah swt. But neither boy apologized. Upon seeing this, the Prophet pbuh asked them, why did they not apologize? It was because each want the other to have the castle, thus letting the other asks for forgiveness first. 

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The price for a forgiveness is a palace in the heaven!  That is how hard it is to apologize, that the reward is so big. For the two boys, they love each other so much, they'd rather part with the palace and give it to the other! I think I'd probably jump at the offer straightway. And then thought, oh dear, I should have given it to the other. Lol. If I think that way at all. ;p

Anyway, forgive everyone everyday, just like a kid. So that we can be friends again tomorrow. :) 

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Sunday, 8 January 2012

Surprise Kiss

My little girl kissed me last night. I know, not a big deal, huh? But it is. You see, she has now reach the stage where kisses are a No-no. You can kiss her like, once, and then she'll be wriggling out our your arms. Screaming. For. Her. Life. Or try asking her to kiss you. You'll be lucky if she kiss the air about one centimeter from your cheek, muahs! If she's feeling like it, she'll put HER cheek to your cheek. That is lucky number two. Most of the time she'll ignore you, like you haven't said a word. I think bribery with ice cream might wield me a peck on the cheek too.

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Oh, how kisses are a luxury now. Gone are the days when she'll laugh with happiness are you kiss her cheeks with all your heart's desire. One cheek each for mummy and daddy. Those cheeks are made to be kissed! But kisses no more.

So what bring that unexpected puckered lips last night? She was having colic, and sleep was hard to come. Like any other mum, I slathered medicated oil on her tummy, ankle and legs and started massaging. She was wriggly, still trying to run away from being massage. Ah, my baby is growing up. Loves her freedom. But I told her to stay put as I'm trying to put the oil on her. Asked her to pray so that Allah will take her pain away. So she did, and I keep massaging. Around here, it is quite common that when baby is having colic, and the mother massaging the baby will kind of 'get' the wind. So I got bloated Lol. Horrible feeling! But anything so that my baby will get better. Anyway, as I rub and massage and saying nice things to her, at one point I kissed her tummy. Kissed it better? Alhamdulillah, I must admit that must have worked. Then she smiled at me and get up, pucker her lips and smack! A kiss on the lips! And another. And another. (she did stop at three). Awwwww....

So my day way totally made. It was totally awesome to have that kiss. Mindblowing. I cried a little lol. It was just so sweet. After days of kisses draught, I got three. Btw, I haven't tell my hubby yet. He'll definitely be so jealous, he probably will start rubbing medication oil! Lol.

I truly treasure the kisses. As my little girl (no longer a baby!) grows up everyday, there are a lot of things whe'll grow out of, too. Frankly, I thought she will deny access to her cheeks when she is probably 3 or 4 years old! Little did I know. She's growing up so fast.

My heart is still melted. She's not up yet, so I'll get my share of kisses for now. Sleep is probably one of those times when she allows kisses (though she did opened her eyes wide when I kissed her just now! lol). Ah, the joy of motherhood. Even a kiss is treasured.

Love is all around :))

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Thursday, 5 January 2012

Happy New Year! (resolution??)

Happy new year. Not too late yet, eh? So, as commonly as ever, when the new year comes, along with it the new year resolutions. What's yours? Lose weight? Be kinder? Save more money? Get a boyfriend? Get married?

I make none.

Frankly, I don't really believe in New Year's resolutions. They just sound so grand and hold such great responsibilities and makes you feel oh, it's so overwhelming.. at least for me it is. And keeping track is just troublesome.. And to wait another year to make a new resolution is too far away lol.. You see, I'm the kind of person who forget things. Alright, I'm forgetful. There, I said it.

So, I most probably won't remember any resolution by end of the first month. So that leaves me about a month to fulfill all my resolutions! Lol. Let's not kill myself with resolutions then!

I just think it's good to reflect on ourselves everyday.. not just to find what we need to improve but also giving that much needed pat on our shoulder for that small achivement we made that day. Nothing is too small to celebrate! Give ourselves a break and smile! That small feat might have taken us the most effort we have. And at least to smile at ourselves, feeling thankful that we actually can do it!  Forgive ourselves and others, too! Hey, we might do that thing we never meant to do, or make mistakes so hugh, it's killing us inside.. But we need to forgive ourselves, and let go..

I always put myself as a learner, or perhaps a student? I learn new things everyday. Even now. How to cook, how to make my kid laugh and yet learn, how to lose my temper less, how to keep calm and happy in times of turmoil..

So I guess I kind of do it everyday. The resolutions, I mean. Small ones, big ones. Cook, sew, love, teach, forgive.. Kinda hard, but easier to remember! Lol. That's just me. I've never been mainstream.. I just like to be different. But that is for another post.

So, what's your new year resolutions? 

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