Tuesday, 10 January 2012

It's Hard for Me to Say I'm Sorry

Little kids are the most forgiving lot. They fight today, and tomorrow, business as usual. By business I mean play, of course. Scold them for breaking the window, they cry themselves to sleep, wake up and ask for dinner. Previous shouting forgotten. Was it because they didn't remember? Or because there are too many things to do (play)? Anyhow, most kids really don't have too much time to keep an argument for long.

The duration for forgiveness lengthen as we grow. The older we are, the harder it takes for us to forgive. Ego? Perhaps. Or the baggage that we carry makes us view things differently. Makes things hurt deeply than they should. Our sensitivity gets more acute. And wounds gets harder to heal. 

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It is quite common to hear adults and old people argue and disagree for days, weeks, years even. Each refuse to apologize. Why is it so hard to say I'm sorry. Pride gets in the way, always. Scared it'll make us look weak. Why should I say sorry, I'm not the guilty one here, he is. 

Hatred creates a strong invisible attachment to the person. More than you realize. Sometimes more than the person you love. You don't ever want to see his face, hear his voice. Always glad (if not wishing) to hear bad news about him. You go out of your way NOT to see or hear him. So you actually making an effort. Of course, everything that relates to that hated person by default also hated. That shirt, this colour, her children, this smell. See how attached you are? Hating is tiring. It drains your energy. 

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Hatred makes you bitter. Forgiving gives you freedom. You are FREE!! Your heart is does not ache anymore. It's a million times lighter than before. You may even get your friend/love back! Try it. It's worth a try. No ego will be bruised. And you'll feel younger! Like a little kid.

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There is a story about two kids that were fighting, Hasan and Husin. As a result, they refuse to talk to each other. Then the Prophet pbuh went to see one of them, saying that Allah swt promise him a palace in the heaven if he forgive the other. Then the Prophet went to see the other boy and told him the same promise from Allah swt. But neither boy apologized. Upon seeing this, the Prophet pbuh asked them, why did they not apologize? It was because each want the other to have the castle, thus letting the other asks for forgiveness first. 

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The price for a forgiveness is a palace in the heaven!  That is how hard it is to apologize, that the reward is so big. For the two boys, they love each other so much, they'd rather part with the palace and give it to the other! I think I'd probably jump at the offer straightway. And then thought, oh dear, I should have given it to the other. Lol. If I think that way at all. ;p

Anyway, forgive everyone everyday, just like a kid. So that we can be friends again tomorrow. :) 

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